I guess that's the main problem for me, during my school years I had it mild, and I know what it feels like to have days to be fluent, but even with it mild, if I blocked in any conversation that embarrassed me even just once during the day, it would ruin my whole day. I have always hated it, even as a young kid, and have tried to accept it, but every time I blocked it was like a knife through me. Now that my stutter is the worst it's ever been and my mental health being the worst it's ever been it's almost unfathomable to think of trying anything. I really admire you for still going after your dreams, and going through it. I don't know if it's just who I am or my mental health but when I hear most of you all still pursuing things, and pushing through it I always am dumbfounded on how you guys can do it, I am 21 btw