Hi there. We seem to have the same kind of stutter. I’m about ten years older than you but I remember just how bad high school was battling a stutter. What you’re referring to are blocks. There’s not enough air that’s able to create the word you’re thinking of. It comes from a form of anxiety, so I’m with you there with trauma. I’m currently in speech therapy and practice is what makes it better. Unfortunately stutters never truly go away, but doing your best to keep it contained helps a lot too. While you notice your stutter, people actually don’t notice it as often as you think you do. So for a presentation, release the tension in your chest, deep breath, and practice breathing out as you speak. My girlfriend of five years knows my stutter and understands exactly what it is, and loves me despite it. You’ll find love, and live a perfectly normal life. Stuttering is frustrating, but the more you come to accept it as a part of you, the more you won’t let it control you, and you can control it. Sending lots of love friend. I know it’s hard and painful.