Today was the worst day of the past 2 years. Everythign went to shit

Today was the worst day of the past 2 years. Everythign went to shit All my hardwork went to shit. I was debating a few people today and I was suttering so badly I just wanted to drown and die. My mental state and techniques that I built upon years of hardwork and talking to people crumbled in that instant and I just left midway. I didnt even have the courage to stay and talk. I am currently numbing my pain with tyelonol and antidepressants. I never thought it could go to shit this easy. Whats the point of fighting anymore if ill always be an inarticulate, mentally retarded sounding buffoon. I wont accept life like this. I just want the fucking pain to stop.