I feel like I'm the only stutterer who suffers this much

I feel like I'm the only stutterer who suffers this much I went to a group speech therapy a few years ago, and for the first time in my life, I felt thankful because I realized that my stutter is actually not that bad compared to other people's stutter. the only issue I have is that I get stuck on certain letters, it's really bad when it happens. there are certain words and letters that I have to avoid completely or pronounce in a very unnatural way (including my name & age…), because I'm physically unable to say them. It's so annoying. having to speak german in my daily life isn't very helpful either, since it's a very harsh language. I try to speak softly, which helps me, but sometimes it just doesn't work... I have also noticed that whenever I feel really happy and confident, my stutter almost fully disappears. I experienced this only once for only a few days and it was so freeing, I miss that feeling so much :( I don't get how you guys just live with it? there was a guy in the speech therapy and introducing himself took him over 5 minutes. he couldn't talk at all and I felt so bad for him, but he seemed so happy and alive, he was even studying at one of the best universities in germany. many people there were like that, just normal, confident, working adults. I just don't get it, like, how? my stutter makes me want to kill myself. I'm still dependent on other people's help and I can't imagine myself working and having a successful career. I can't see myself ever having friends or a boyfriend, like why would anyone choose me when there are thousands and millions of healthy people? I already struggle with my insecurities and fears, and having a stutter on top of all that feels like a death sentence. I'm extremely sensitive and scared of people's reactions, I don't want to face my fear of speaking and I wish I could run away from everything and hide forever, but I can't, I'm 24 years old and I have no other choice but to become a functioning adult. I just have absolutely no idea how to do that. how do you guys manage to live normal lives? If you had similar fears and thoughts, how did you overcome them?