I hit anything near to me. Like a table or a wall when I stutter. And few days back a colleague of mine saw me stutter and hit the table for the first time. I think he had pity in his eyes or maybe surprise. He didn't talk after that. It was extremely embarassing. I could have died from embarrassment. I mean. I was talking about Kafka one minute and next I'm banging on the table trying to get a syllable out and then afterwards I overcompensate by speaking nonsensical things for a few minutes. I woner if I'll ever be able to garner respect for who I am when I can't even converse properly.