I completely understand, my friend. I am in the same exact position (nearly). I wouldn’t say my stutter has gone away, but it was fairly severe when I was a kid and is now generally only a minor inconvenience, as far as how it it actually affects my speech patterns. I can talk almost completely fluently at this point. However, just like you said, I can’t ever forget the past, and it haunts me almost every time I try and engage in normal conversations and speech related tasks. My anxiety around this is not quite crippling, but certainly greatly diminishes my quality of life. I am in grad school now and I thought it would be a dream come true but I can see it now becoming a nightmare for exactly this reason. I’m trying to connect with people but it’s like I’m always on the outside looking in. I can’t get over it. And I’m just hanging on for dear life hoping I don’t screw the whole thing up because of it. So yeah, they definitely don’t understand how exhausting and deflating this is. But I do :(