First things first Kyle, you are not dumb. Shake that off immediately. Second, it is not your fault. I find it also very hard to read. Either way, you should not be so hard on yourself. Sometimes I "hate my life" as well, but I try to just shake it off and think happier. FYI, I am 16, soon turning 17. I know what you are going through. I've been there. Stay strong bud. Sending love from Norway!