commentr/StutterNovember 6, 2024

Content

It sounds like you're making a lot of assumptions. First, how old are these girls? If we're talking about girls in their early teens then I would say just try not to let it bother you. At this age everyone is terrible all the time. Things tend to get better with maturity. But if they're late teens, early 20's I wouldn't be so quick to assume their behavior towards you has anything to do with you stuttering. I've stuttered for over 40 years and, in my experience, girls tend to be cooler about it than other guys. A girl is less likely to make some stupid comment in the middle of a block. But I have countless memories of other guys making shitty comments and snickering. >*When they get to know about it, they freak out and stop being around me.* How do they freak out? If they stop hanging around you it could be for any number of reasons. I've never had a girl stop hanging out with me because I stuttered. Not saying it doesn't happen. Just be careful that you're not assuming too much. Try being direct and simply asking her - "Hey, maybe I'm wrong but it kinda feels like you've been avoiding me? Have I done something to offend you?" Something like this is a good way to deal with these kinds of situations directly. Regardless of her answer, you can easily come out of it looking good because you showed confidence your approach. >*They even feel hesitant to talk to me after that* Do they? How do you know what they feel? Did they tell you they feel this way? Again, assumptions may be correct but it's always wise to keep in mind that they may not be as well. Stuttering isn't taboo. Asking people how much money they make is taboo. Wiping boogers on the carpet is taboo. You can easily make a choice not to do certain things. Stuttering isn't one of them. The only barriers are the ones you've constructed in your mind. To the rest of the world, you stuttering really isn't that big of a deal. Just talk to people you're interested in talking to and don't worry about whether you stutter or not. Yes, sometimes it's going to feel awkward. Awkwardness never killed anyone. I'll take occasionally awkward over mental barricades any day of the week. Don't overthink it. Just go talk to them and see what happens.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional ExperienceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionHiding & ConcealmentAnxiety & Social JudgmentAcceptance & Pride