I just had a job interview - it was awful

I just had a job interview - it was awful I have master degree in Counseling and I am looking for a job for almost a year now. I just had an interview and I stuttered a lot. I could not express myself, I have seen how they looked me and I felt a lot of shame. I am crying my ass now because I cant live like this anymore. I studied hard, I know I am capable, I am highly motivated and this does not mean anything. It is not depending on me, I can just HOPE someone would hire me with a stutter. Like wtf?:( my future is very dark, I cannot see a light anymore. I want to have a career, I want to live on my own (now I cant because I am not financial stable), I want to have kids soon (I am 27)... This all seems impossible... I have the best boyfriend, who has great career and I dont want to be wife at home or working some low paid job (in some field I hate). This would destroy me. IT IS DESTROYING ME. I honestly think I should leave my bf cuz I am holding him back :( I hate this life. I envy everyone who can talk. I am jelaous. I would do literally EVERYTHING TO STOP. I had speech therapy, I do breathing exercises , I did some positive thinking.. Bullsh**, nothing helps!! Just venting, I know you can understand me.