It makes complete and total sense my man I feel the same way. I have a small computer repair business now and I go to strangers' houses all the time and they don't even know I have stutter, that's how fluent I can speak...so why the hell can't I do it all the time? I'm still trying to mentally put myself in that non-stuttering state all the time and paying attention to myself more when I am fluent. My whole body tenses up when I get blocks...it's annoying AF.