I was like this and it did get better over time, really. I still stammer and still have periods where it does my fucking head in, but most of the time it’s not high on my list of priorities. I don’t think any one thing was the magic bullet, but I’d been having group therapy for a while with a therapist who was very into acceptance and working through blocks etc, and taught a lot about how many stammering behaviours are secondary characteristics that we choose, rather than being ‘the stammer’ - the facial contortions, tapping etc. I also just became more confident in myself from other life areas and that really helped. There’s a quote in a book that really sums up how I used to feel, Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion. It’s about a zombie who’s retained a lot of his mental faculties but could apply to stammerers equally well: “In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of words to reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts. But when I open my mouth, everything collapses.[….] There is a chasm between me and the world outside of me. A gap so wide my feelings can’t cross it. By the time my screams reach the other side, they have dwindled into groans.”