Yeah brother, I feel for you and I am similar now. I have tried to see it positively but I need it now for what it is. After all the isolation, descrimination, and feeling like I am unseen I need to face it rather than pretend to be purely positive. It has ruined our lives, it doesnt mean we can't stutter and still be happy and have great lives. It means we have to work harder than the majority of the population to acheive these goals and find other things to compensate for it. They act like it should motivate us but motivation comes from positive feedback not negative feedback