Since this has became a feared word and has a lot of fear connected to the word, learning to lessen the fear is key. A quick tip I can give you is to stutter on purpose when you say that word. Because that's what you fear right? You fear what the person on the other side of the phone will think if they hear you stutter on this word. So taking ownership and stuttering on purpose allows you to feel good after you stutter on the word. Because you set out and completed a challenge. Now you feel good/proud (or less bad) after saying that word. You can create new connections with that word now that isn't full of fear, but rather a sense of pride etc. I can dive a lot deeper, but does that brief explanation make sense?