hey man, I appreciate your frustration - trust me I do. I have a severe stutter myself and I've been struggling with it for close to 20 years. however I somehow managed to get into med school and I'm currently in my final year - the stutter is still there however I believe I am getting better. Please consider my recommendations: 1 - You should seek help from a psychiatrist urgently. They might not help with the stutter but they might help with the low mood and suicidal thoughts. Some of the medications that treat depression, such as SSRIs, have been found to be useful in reducing stuttering intensity in a small proportion of people who stutter - you might luckily be among this group of ppl 2- I would recommend the McGuire program. It is an intense speech course that really worked wonders for me. I know you said you've tried intensive speech programs in the past but if you haven't tried this one, please go for it. Trust me, it is worth a try 3- if all else fails, I think you should try medications. You can ask your psychiatrist to prescribe second-generation antipsychotics. Latest research show they're the most effective medications for stammering, so far. They come with some terrible side-effects so would be worth discussing with your psychiatrist in detail but if things are not resolved after trying option 1 and 2 above, I guess it might well be worthwhile. No one should ever feel so low, the way you're feeling. It must be a living nightmare and I appreciate how painful life must be. Nonetheless, trust me - suicide isn't the answer!