I feel your pain. I sometimes am thinking of forgetting about my passion (ART, theater) and go into Medicine/Neuroscience, sacrifice my life to it, in hopes that the future generation will not have to struggle with it and follow their dreams as they wish. It's like when thinks go bad and I'm thinking of ending it, I'm like I was born I'll die anyways, might at least use my existence for something important. I'm still contemplating, letting everything and go into research. That would be my form os suicide and me giving up on my life. I still have hope, but it's always on the back of my mind.