just getting it all out

just getting it all out i am a 23m that stuttered my whole life, never felt the feeling of being fluent. i dont know if it makes any sense, but i feel anger rather than sadness, angry on whom? idk. even though i am a calm person and rarely get mad. recently, i am feeling more and more desperate, idk why maybe afraid of what is coming after university. i am embarrassed to open up about how i feel to one of my family or friends - i dont feel anyone can understand until they are in you shoes-, i hate the fact that i feel crippled somehow and i dont want anyone feel pitty on me i wrote this here because you do understand , just wanted to get my feeling out and try to relax my mind. i hope one day this nightmare ends