Well... we don't know exactly how stutter works yet, but we do know some things that we can say about it. It's definitely not the case that stuttering exists because people are pressured into speaking. Obviously, there can be situations where people feel pressured into speaking, but in terms of stuttering, that's not a mechanic that exists. I think we know that being anxious about something can be a factor for stuttering, but it's not a singular cause. So, some stutterers might experience more stuttering when they're anxious about something - but not necessarily always - and they might also stutter even if they're not anxious. Trying to understand stutter in a simplistic way is not advisable. Indeed, if you think you should put this all on yourself in terms of will (or lack thereof, as it were), you're doing yourself a huge disservice - because it's not your fault, and there's nothing you're doing wrong as such. You just have a stutter. You say you've been working with it for 5 years. Is this on your own, or did you seek out professionals?