The REAL reason we don't enjoy social interactions..🗣🫂

The REAL reason we don't enjoy social interactions..🗣🫂 The REAL reason we don't enjoy social interactions..🗣🫂 I used to think it was my stutter.  I used to think that if I were fluent, my social life would be completely different.  I would be able to tell the jokes I wanted, be quick with the back and forth banter, have the attention that the “cool guys” have.  I would often fantasize about being fluent. I would replay old interactions in my mind and imagine how differently it could've gone if I were fluent. If I wasn't being stifled because of my fear of stuttering.  But I’ve realized something in these past few years..  Having had some of the most wild experiences, doing ayahuasca in the Amazon inside Peru.  Having flown to the U.K and Australia to work with people who stutter in person and go on week long intensives..  Having started my business where I can work remotely, meeting 100’s of new people every month.. Relocating to Colombia and being thrown into a completely different culture and being faced with many different obstacles.. What I'm trying to say is I am leaving my comfort zone on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Sometimes with drastic change, like moving countries or the little ones I am doing in my day to day life like learning bachata and constantly going out to new events with people I meet here in Colombia. And through this I have realized that stuttering has nothing to do with the enjoyment you feel in your experiences or interactions.  I know that's easy for me to say because I have made such drastic improvements in my speech in the past couple years.. But that also allows me to explain both sides.  There's times where I am completely fluent, but I feel so disconnected and withdrawn from other people.  And there's times where I am stuttering a bit more than usual but create such a deep and intimate connection with a complete stranger.  I can't tell you the amount of people I have met in these last years of pushing myself and having deep vulnerable conversations with “fluent people” and realizing they feel just as shitty oftentimes in interactions.  They are often putting up a front of trying to be perfect and trying to maintain a certain image their brain has told them other people want to see them as.  Most people don't find random interactions enjoyable either.  They have reasons or rationizations in their mind of why people wont like them or why they wont like other people.  And we often use “stuttering” as the same excuse. WE ALL GOT SOMETHING! Now this leads to why I wanted to make this post.. The reason why we are not enjoying some social interaction isn’t because of our stutter.. It's because we are afraid to show the real us.  Let.That.Fuckin.Sink.In.  -- -- -- Seriously let it sink in.  We are literally disabling ourselves to enjoy interactions because we are constantly holding up a front.. A mask. (like everyone else)  We are constantly trying to avoid judgement from others.  We aren't truly letting ourselves play.  We are constantly seeking approval and validation from others because we feel our stutter is a reason people won't like us.. So we overcompensate.  The thing is.. This only ever hurts us. Because when we develop this front that constantly tries to prove, pretend, perfect, and please other people.. If we do get validated from that, the true authentic us doesn’t get validated, the front does.  Our front then gets stronger and we start to feel safer living inauthentically.  And when the inauthentic version of ourselves becomes our defaut state.. We are waking up feeling disconnected. We are going to bed feeling disconnected. Every interaction feels like a performance and we never truly feel like we belong anywhere.  All because we are not allowing our authentic self to understand it's safe to play.  The #1 thing I would suggest for you if you are a person who stutters, is to stop trying to fit in and stop trying to show up perfectly.  Instead, start learning that it's completely okay to be rejected, ignored, laughed at, looked down upon. Because if you were being authentic and the other person didn't like you. Fucking good. You wouldn't want that person in your life anyway.  In doing so and you start living vulnerably authentic, you will start having real enjoyable conversation and create the most amazing intense connections with random strangers.  And that's worth the pain of your authentic self getting rejected sometimes.  No more hiding. Start playing full out. The future you will love you. I promise. ❤