Just had an interaction with delivery driver & now i wanna kms

Just had an interaction with delivery driver & now i wanna kms He was upset that i sent him "wtf????" Because he didn't answer when i called then he turned off his phone. Due to my low self esteem i avoid confrontations at all cost, but now it was inevitable. I was so angry that i stuttered so bad that he immediately changed his behavior to "feeling bad" and tried to proceed to give me the package with completely different demeanor. I took the package, ignored him asking for delivery code (that i plan to send very late) and shut the door hard.. i been trying my whole life to overcome this shit (34yo) but it still hits me like a truck and makes me feel pathetic. No wonder i have no friends or made any relationship, all i can say that with every single breath I take in my life, i will hate my mom.