I've been there. I have no quick fix for you or any magical trick. I can only say I keep at it and I'm much happier where I am today. I'm pretty proud of myself given where I was many years ago. I know you may think people think things about us, and some of them do, but to hell with them. We have lives to live, and dang nabbit, that's what we should do! Don't let the bastard get you down.