I feel you man. My entire life I wanted to join the military. Everyone told me I would be kicked out shortly after them finding my stutter and to just go to college or trade school like all my friends. I felt alone and like no one was in my corner. But I pushed through and am now an army medic. I still lie awake at night sometimes because I’m worried I might block while communicating to either people around me or on the radio (my personal hell) and that hang up could cost my casualty his life. I haven’t had that issue yet but that insecurity is always there. Push through dude, do whatever the fuck you’re passionate about, and don’t let anyone, even yourself, hold you back.