I would like to chat with you. I think it's important to share these feelings, but don't let them consume you. I'm sure you're an amazing person with many redeeming qualities, you are just maybe in a transitory stage in your life. I felt very similarly in my early twenties. Going into adulthood with a stutter can be very stressful and sometimes it does feel impossible, but I just want to say that life does get better... If you allow it too. I know that sounds like cliche BS, but allowing these negative thoughts to consume your mind is very dangerous and it does nothing but make your situation worse. Look it's rational to experience these negative thoughts, I understand how isolating and impossible stuttering can make life seem. But again thinking rationally, what do you gain from allowing these negative thoughts to dictate your life? Nothing? I am not saying you have to lie to yourself, you just have to shift your perspective of things, and stop being so hard on yourself. I am sure there are qualities you have, that outshine your stutter. I have come to realize that the fear of stuttering and the negative perception of our self worth it creates, is actually worse than the stutter itself! Of course these are byproducts of the stutter... And we cannot always control the stutter. But we can control our perception of ourselves and we can control how we react to certain situations. In my experience that has been the most powerful tool, to overcome the immense fear of speaking and actually get on with my life. I isolated myself from 22-25 because I had an awful experience at a job, and it shifted my perception of myself into a similar one as your own. It took me a long time to get out of that loop of self loathing. But I just realized that actually, I am not happy living like this. So I pushed through the fear, interviewed for a job and now I have an awesome job and have friends through my work, and go out and socialize with them. My life is not perfect, I still stutter really really badly some days... But the self hatred is gone. And it's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't care how people react to my stutter, not at all. If they're worth talking to they will give you time, and most people do. This all began because I simply shifted my perspective and started to love myself based on my good qualities. I know I'm Intelligent, I know I am diligent, I know I am compassionate and thoughtful... And so I know that I have a worth to many people and society as a whole. I know that I am a good person that is trying their best in this life. Of course, stuttering makes life waaaay harder for me. But I don't care, I can't change that but I can and will overcome that disadvantage and still find happiness and meaning in life. I know one day you will have the same shift in perception, I know you are a person with a lot to offer the world. If you ever want to chat over text or voice call let me know. Take care, and love yourself you can do it. I'm in your corner, and I don't even know you. So never feel completely alone. There are always people willing to listen. So thank you for sharing and please do reach out 🤗