I think I know the pain you are talking about. If you’re not referring to pain from depression, the pain you feel in your head I think is from competing intentions that are wearing you out. For example, you have a desire to speak but also the desire to not speak because of stuttering. Then when you force words out while in this state, your brain is operating under two conflicting messages, and thus causing stress like a rope being pulled in two different directions in a game of tug a war. Until finally one team wins (the desire to speak) and the word finally comes loose. But the stress and strain still took place. And your chest hurts because of again, strain when forcing out words. I would really recommend the Dave McGuire course. They have an inexpensive self help book on Amazon called “Beyond Stammering: The Mcguire Program for getting good at the Sport of Speaking.” You can have the book downloaded onto your phone in minutes if you get the Amazon Kindle app. The book will go through psychological reasons for stuttering, give you a breathing technique, and inspire you to get out and practice speaking. The breathing technique will help you overcome struggle and bypass it. The program will be fear inducing but use the people closest to you for support. Keep practicing the techniques and follow what the book says. Then I recommend reading “Redefining Stuttering” by John Harrison, someone who stuttered for many years and was part of the National Stuttering Association for many years. You can find a free link to the book if you google the title. If you can’t find it I will help send you a link. I was surprised to find the book for free after seeing it was sold out on Amazon. Lastly, use “block releases”. They can decrease struggle a lot. Let out an audible repetition and then start back over; rather than trying to avoid stuttering, which just causes more struggle. Here is a good example. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UA4ZhaZ-zV8 Don’t take your own life man. Let your set-back be your comeback! And do seek help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been great for me. At the very least, ask the Lord for help and direction. He may not give you immediate fluency but He can set a great path for you that you will be thankful for later!