Hey, I know your pain, hated my stammer and myself most of my life, thankfully I've never felt suicidal though.. I had a great bunch of mates when I was younger, which helped.. Anyhow om now 60, have sons and grand children.. you have a full life to live, yes your stammer will def hold you back in many of your plans, but do your best and never give up, it's something you have to learn to live with, it's not going away.. Wishing you all the best