I hate high school and being a teenager

I hate high school and being a teenager Im 16M, and honestly, im so tired of this shit... Everyday in school is suffering: first, the anxiety that i will get picked out to read out loud, and then the stomach drop when i get a block, and the fucking giggles of the rest of the class. I tried so many times telling myself that i can do it, practicing speaking at home, believing that i can speak, but it always comes back stronger than ever... I feel like im disconnected from the rest of the fucking world, like im not supposed to be here, that im an error. I know im not the only stutterer in the world, but honest to god not once in my life have i met in person someone who ACTUALLY stutters. Shits fucking alienating. Everyday i see my classmates talking to eachother, talking to teachers, and i cant fucking tell the hour when someone asks me for it. What did i do to deserve this. And its only october, ive got the whooole wide year left of this hell. Crying to sleep, and waking up with anxiety so bad my hands shake. I dont want to tell my parents beacuse its just embarassing; a man my age should be strong, talkative, and brave. Im the polar opposite of that. I know this is just one big rant, but i just had to get this off my chest. Thanks if youve read until this point.