So I just replied with this somewhere else and I'll share it here as well. In terms of the uncontrollable feeling we foster and the depression we bring up; ​ I believe we have 2 states. A stutter state and a fluent state. Like a trauma, as we worry, focus, and get in our heads over the stutter state, it brings it all right back up to the forefront. I think it's similar to people that experience something difficult and remember it and feel like they are there all over again. The reason I stopped myself from dwelling on it endlessly is also that depression it fostered that I was sick and tired of. It was just too unproductive and I had to be honest with myself in realizing that. I used to say it before and now I find myself saying it again, the mind is a powerful thing and we can differentiate and double down on the fluent state rather than the stutter state. In the fluent state we can say any word that we fear of in the stutter state so we know our potential is there. We just need to relearn how to grasp it again and set aside the emotions and anxiety as something else we can live with and relearn to disassociate from our fluency.