As someone who was heavy stutterer in childhood and somewhat fluent now, i get ya. I don't think about it often, until I get into convo with someone, and if it's for the first time its like alarm in back of my head, "dude be careful u stutter" the whole time, and dates are pain in the ass. Im always thinking should i say i stutter at the beginning, or after, or not at all and hope she'll get it and be ok. And then after those social interaction i get that feeling "why tf can't I speak normally" that hounts me for hours