Let me tell you something , sad but true , love God or not , he's just too powerful to be shaken , hurt , destroyed nor even touched by your hate bro ,And remember I'm quite sure that there are dozens of people who suffers more than you do , at least you got your mentality , some don't even have that , and they just chill and stay grounded , I know how it feels , and I acknowledge your feelings of loathing the God , but it's not necessary at all , because stutter can be reduced , maintained and dwindling if you're at the right circumstances. So stay grounded dude