Don't be too hard on yourself. It doesn't really get you anywhere or help. It's part of who you are. None of us like having a stammer, but it's there. If you can find some acceptance and roll with it, you'll feel better. I'm a journalist, I work for a magazine and I have to interview people nearly every day. Did four this morning. I sounded crap in the first one. Forcing words, word extensions, big pauses. Haven't listened to the rest. It used to kill me, but I stopped caring about something that's having a negative impact on me. If my stammer was to bother someone I was interviewing, I'd end the call and never interview them again. I know it's not easy. I've had my stammer for 40 years. Find acceptance. Everyone has something about themselves they don't like about themselves, especially those of us who got whatever it is through no fault of our own. Take a step back sometimes, breathe, get some air, and reset.