You're not alone. We all have our ups and downs. Just spent the last couple days at my first Chicago NSA (National Stuttering Association) conference. 283 other first timers like me, a new record?! It was an eye opener seeing so many stutters around me, more stutters I have met during the conference than my entire life prior. Saw people with various fluency level, but they all stutter just like us! Please reach out to a local stuttering support group. Get professional help for your severe depression. Others have been able to live a good life without being 100% fluent like myself. You're not alone.