you’re being wayyy too hard on yourself, and you’re also expecting yourself to talk “normally” when that’s not really a thing, there’s a vast numbers of ways to communicate. Your brain is obsessed on this perfectionist style of communication that gets you stuck in your own head and leaves room for uncertainty, lower self esteem, interpreting yourself more than the interaction you’re in, etc. Ask yourself who are you doing it for? Yourself? People around you? Society? get down to the roots of it but give yourself grace at the same time bc there are people who’ll notice it, see it as some cute quirk this specific individual has and move on, and others might not be on the same page but eh fuckkkk em