1. Yes, they 1000% know -- like hyper-aware know. 2. I personally find it very disrespectful. Would you push a person in a wheelchair without asking them? Taking away anyone's sense of autonomy without them asking is extremely demotivating. 3. I would straight up ask her. I appreciate when people do that. "Hey, do you mind if I ask you about your speech? Totally cool if not, but I have just have some questions."