I just finished a part-time job interview.

I just finished a part-time job interview. It was not that bad. I work at a cafe in the morning. The most awful moment for me is to say good-bye words to customers. I don’t know why, but I have the feeling that is almost near to going dead. When customors are about to leave, then my feeling of going dead starts. ‘Pleases, somebody helps me this right moment, Pleases, do not leave me alone. Pleases whoever it is, stay with me this right moment.’ I am so crying inside my mind. Sometimes I burst my tears out because of the burden that I have to say good-bye words to customers. I have my eyes starting to be full of tears. But, It doesn’t matter because people would see my tears as just something after yawning. Anyway, I don’t know why but I am with this amount of feeling, emotion. Today, I got a part-time job interview in the afternoon at another cafe. When they told me that my job would be ‘calling customors their orders ready, like ‘Here comes two Americano!!’, I felt awful. It was soooooooooooooooooo awful. It’s like the feeljng that a character in the movie, ‘Saw’ feels when being about killed by Jigsaw. I am sure that my look for the interviewer is normal, but I felt really awful. I want my knee down and cry out and ask for any help from anybody. I believed in my whole life that no one could help me with this, but these days, I say, please anybody help me, anybody can help me so hey strangers passing by me, pleases don’t leave me alone. Pleases hug me then I will cry as hard as I can. And they told me that If I will be considered ‘not good with this job’, I would be fired in two weeks. Anyway, I told them I can do my best, try hard.