The top comment already mentioned a self-help book, I'll go with another idea I learned from another self-help book: Four Agreements(or at least what i took from it). Basically, we all have agreements with ourself. And one of these is what exactly do words mean. Me and you probably have a different definition in our mind about what it means to be a man. How do today's gen Z and boomers view masculinity is different. It's up to you what does masculinity mean to yourself, but using an agreement that hurts you is not ideal and it's a good idea to break that agreement then and form a new one instead. This seems like a discussion r/Menslib would be interested in, you could get an opinion from people with other disabilities, who used to struggle with this.