People can have bad manners, that's painful but I believe that you are capable of handling those shameful emotions and the good ones will stay with you. For me that helped is that I don't care about others either, people come and go everyday, it's just a random person, be nice and it's just better (I'm not talking about loved ones). It might help that there are videos about nontraditional narcissists that somewhat helped me (which means you have low-self esteem not that you're a douche).