I just need to finally vent because I don't think non-stutterers understand *sigh*

I just need to finally vent because I don't think non-stutterers understand *sigh* I'm a 23f, stuttered my whole life. My mom and aunt has it too but I have it the worst. I used to be known for being unfriendly because I was so scared to be judged for my stutter. I never made actual friends which I feel like I missed out on so much. - I used to be able to read out loud so well in front of people but I think insecurities during my teenage years totally ruined my confidence. - I envy regular people who speak as easily as breathing. (Forget ever telling stories omg) - My heart sinks like I'm falling when I hear the word "Presentation"in class. - regular people think only about what they are gonna say, I think about what I'm gonna say, whether the sentence consist of any words that's hard for me to say ( Words begining with A, H, I, the usual) , can I switch that hard word with another word that is easier to say, do I trust my tongue enough to spit out that word , will I make a fool out of myself?. N by then my anxiety gets bad n I feel so defeated. - I've been open to only two person about my stutter (it took every bit of strength in me to actually say "I have a stutter). They both said they didn't even notice, it's not even that bad. -problem is that the severity changes from time to time and now that I have anxiety it's 10x worse. - I have actually thought of maybe not having a kid because he/she has a chance of having stutter n living through what I did. - I'm studying to become a registered nurse, but how will I ever communicate properly with this problem. - I can read to myself perfectly but the moment I know someone is listening, I crack (And many more...) Edit: THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO SHOWED SUCH SUPPORT, I'LL READ YOUR COMMENTS AND ADVICES TO HELP ME DURING MY STRUGGLE AND HOPE IT HELPS OTHERS TOO.