I can see how you could still think there is a god, but to me, if there is a god, he is pretty unfeeling. Stuttering is a serious hardship. You are going to school for speech therapy? Great. You know how else God could have steered you toward speech therapy? Probably 1000 other ways. You know, seeing how God is all powerful and all creative. Surely God could have given you a hint at your life's true purpose without, you know, causing you tremendous daily grief in the attempt to merely communicate with your fellow man. If there is a God, screw him. He doesn't care about us, so I do not care about him. I deal with this on my own, no thanks to him.