I am Steve, 47 years old. For nearly three decades, I have been struggling with depression. I suspect it started when I began to stutter at the age of 3, around the time my parents separated. My childhood was turbulent; my mother frequently had new partners who were both verbally and physically aggressive. As a result, I moved often and was exposed to many traumatic experiences. I never felt like I had a real home or a father figure. Moreover, my mother was manipulative; if I contradicted her or didn't do what she wanted, I was punished and reminded of the costs I had incurred her. Although I have been able to process much of my childhood, my stuttering remains a constant source of pain. It hinders me in conversations, makes me insecure, and often leads business contacts to distrust me, despite my competencies. This has also affected my social life; I have never been able to build deep friendships. As I get older, I become increasingly frustrated by my communication problems. I notice that I am naturally a cheerful and astute man, which is evident in written communication like texts or emails. However, in face-to-face conversations, I quickly come across as depressed. Life is becoming increasingly difficult for me, and I am often short with colleagues, family, and my household. I am stuck in a negative spiral and long to feel 'normal'. I have tried everything to get rid of this empty feeling: sought and received a lot of female attention for a period, earned a lot of money in my independent profession, participated in charities, and donated money to those in need. Nothing helps me feel good about myself. I think what I desire most is simple human contact, good friendships, and enjoyable superficial social interactions. In my opinion, these keep a person happy.