Bro literally me. Whenever I have those moments in the day or week where I couldn't get a word out for an abnormally long time compared to my normal stutter I just replay it over and over in my head for hours and days. Like what my face looked like (my face gets weird when I stutter), what the person's reaction was, how could I have not come off as a weirdo just then type stuff. I'm a truck driver so I basically scream and cuss in my cab when I drive away from my delivery and just be really hard on myself. Anyway the mental battles we deal with lol thanks brain but hey that's life we gotta move on