Im 17, been stuttering almost since I could talk. I’ve been through a lot of the shit you’re describing in this post. To cope, I got a pet 2 years ago— a leopard gecko— and over time that developed into a genuine fascination with reptiles. Now I intend on pursuing zoology in college and I have the confidence in myself now to not let my stutter get in the way if I can help it. My point is, inspiration and motivation to keep on living can come from anywhere at any time. You might feel things are pointless now, like I did. But maybe try something new. Learn a new skill. Get a pet if you can care for it. You’ll be motivated to keep going naturally after a while of practicing or keeping an animal. Trust me.