(Sigh)… Alrighty then. Lots to unpack. Stuttering appears to be one of the top 5 or so of your issues you are dealing with. As someone that deals with trauma on the daily, please allow me to paraphrase Terry Crews, “You need distance… Geographic distance… Emotional distance… Financial distance… BEFORE you deal with your traumas.” Then make the space you need to be comfortable in your life to work on the practices and habits that positively affect your fluency.