Why do i stutter when i think about it and i dont when im not aware of it?

Why do i stutter when i think about it and i dont when im not aware of it? Im really ashamed that i did this in the first place, https://youtube.com/shorts/DSgVjiBA9HM?si=MhphU5_62itgJ83k -I have uploaded an unlisted private video of me reading a thread because i wanted to hear those 2 stages, anyone can click the link and hear me, watch the whole thing, at around 20seconds, in the middle of the video i completly stop stuttering? As soon as i pick a flow that is comfortable i just continue with that until i stop, if i wouldve stopped or take a breath i wouldve continued to stutter, but this is something that ive seen in my stutter, i mostly 70-80% dont stutter at most words when i dont think about it or when im excited, but when i read and when i am aware of what im doing, its like damn, i repeat every word 2-3 times. Idk what am i seeking, i guess any advice what i could be doing to this, how do you guys manage it? I have never been to a therapy whatsoever, nothing, have been trying to heal from it by myself since forever, but it has gotten better over time. Sorry for the random thread that i was reading, im a software engineer myself and im at my last years so i was reading some stories here in reddit cuz ive been having a hard time thinking the stutter will have an impact on me landing a job, sometimes i just wanna kms.