I think I figured out how I started stuttering
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I think I figured out how I started stuttering I've been stuttering from age 5 and I'm also a long time anxiety sufferer. Recently I have experienced a phenomenon and I think it serves as a good indicator as to how and why I stutter. I work in the service industry so am constantly around people. But my job doesn't involve that much talking or smiling. Earlier in school and uni, I used to get very anxious about stuff like smiling, talking, eye contact, presentations, etc. But then after COVID and the normalization of masks, a lot of workers started wearing masks. Which COMPLETELY takes off the pressure from stuff like smiling or keeping a poker face, etc. You're safe under that mask. After I started wearing a mask, my anxiety had gone away. Recently I've started to notice that I've gotten self conscious about other stuff. Like my walking pattern and specifically - arm movement. How to move your arms, position your hands, etc. And it has caused me to do weird things like: twitch my hands, move then in an awkward manner, awkwardly fidget around whenever I feel someone is watching me. Other people have noticed it too and just look at me weird. This is something I never even thought about before. It just goes to show that even if you block out all your regular channels of anxiety expression, it will flow to other areas and just find new ways to express itself. I am now " stuttering " with my hands. That's essentially what's going on. I have unintentionally taught my hands to stutter. I think this is how I started stuttering too. Back when I did not think about it much, I would talk normally like everyone else. But at some point, it became a method of anxiety expression. There are some rare days where I can talk easily without stuttering. These are days when my brain forgets to use my speech as an anxiety expressor. One of my previous therapists also told me that the way to get rid of my stutter was not speech therapy or learning any techniques. He simply said " Forget how to stutter ".