If you'll wipe yourself out, it won't change anything, on the contrary your mom will be destroyed as well as all the people you know and who love you will be destroyed. You are working as a cashier? You are facing challenges, you are employed and you are doing your best. I personally know a bunch of fluent people, who just have occasional gigs and spend their money for liquor and cigs. They may have some life issues but they ain't even trying to change things. I had those thoughts too, but then told myself: 'in spite of haters with their smirks I'll carry on and prevail, whatever efforts it will take me'. Consulted with psychologist, began showering with cold water, spend more time out walking or cycling, sleeping 8-9 hours, less screen time and now it is much better. Though I am introverted person, I am responsive and talkative when people are talking to me. Remember: our kind cannot just make stutter disappear just like that, only will and persistence shall help for sure. You know a story about two frogs fallen in a milk jar? One drowned after a while and the other was paddling and paddling and whipped a butter and jumped out from a jar.