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Despair I know I've written a lot of times on this sub (i don't even know why I kind of feel guilty about it), but I'm starting to get into a hole and a despair I've never known in my life. One of the worst things about stuttering is not the stuttering itself. Everyone has problems, and tough problems. It's the fact that, after trying anything and everything for years, even decades, you don't see a change. A sustentable change. A lot of people will get mad for this example but it's the only one that I thought about: overweighted people. If you're an overweighted person, deep down you know you could do something about it. It's tough shit anyways, and maybe you wouldn't do anything. Maybe you don't want or you're depressed (which is really hard itself). But I believe there's some degree of despair people experience and decide to do something. You could do something. You could improve. You could help yourself. I'm not saying is easy. It's far from easy, but still you acknowledge you COULD do something about it. I heard something once that said "People don't change when they want to. People change when they have to". With a severe stutter there's no degree of self-hatred, despair, embarrasment, fear, anxiety, loneliness and depression you could get in order for you to stop stuttering. You feel you have to born and die with it. I'm jealous of those people who have to go through the most terrible shit knowing they'll eventually reach to what they want. I mean, I'm okay with struggling. I'm okay with hard times. I'm okay with break-ups, disappointment, I'm okay with shit. It's part of life, cool, it is what it is. It will make me a better and stronger person. With a stutter... I don't see that. I can't see the meaning of this suffering. I can't see my target, what I have to do, how to approach it, the finish line, the flag, light at the end of the tunnel. It's been 20 years man. I don't know, in the name of the Lord, what else to do. I'm broken into pieces.