commentr/StutterJuly 14, 2019

Content

I think your heart is in the right place, but it would ultimately be a hindrance for him. If you can just basically turn off your voice, then you aren't as motivated to seek fluency strategies. Not to judge the kid, I mean sometimes I use alternate means of communication if I can. Plus he's doing that already with phone usage. You know, as I'm typing this I'm kind of talking myself out of it. Well then. On second thought, maybe a little communication shorthand (so to speak) wouldn't be so bad. Here's another way of looking at it. This is an opportunity to give him an interaction where he can feel open about stuttering. As a result (after some time), he may stutter less. But oh boy, I definitely get the anxiety and shame angle. Then that creates a cycle that makes it almost impossible to speak. There are some strong opinions on this post. It sounds good to say that he should be able to have the time to express himself and that people shouldn't rush him and it's not about them. That's true, but it also gets tiring to have to fight so hard every moment to express yourself. Not because someone's necessarily making you feel that way, but because you're just disfluent as hell at the moment and it makes you frustrated. It can make you so anxious or embarrassed you want to curl up and die. As much as it's not about someone's discomfort at him stuttering, it's also not about someone's stance that he \*has\* to stutter or communicate in a way that makes him anxious. Well, this is certainly a rambling post with no definite answer to your question lol. But maybe this gives you some insight to the issue. Maybe there's no definite, set answer all the time. Maybe options are a good thing, as well as letting him work on his fluency with you. To close, let me say thank you for taking the time to consider what's going on, and seeking feedback, and basically giving a damn. I've dealt with everything from anger to ridicule to being patronized or thought of as mentally challenged in relation to my stutter. It would've been awesome to meet someone who took the time to find out more and not make me feel bad about it. Do let us know what develops.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional Experience

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionAnxiety & Social JudgmentShame & Embarrassment