What’re you studying? I blunder ever single day but it’s easier to laugh it off. I enjoy telling people I’ve got a stutter if I’m going to be talking to them for a while, makes it a little less awkward. I want people to feel comfortable talking to me, I hate when I block on a word and people have no idea what to do. After I get it out i chuckle “that was a big one!” I understand the suicidal thoughts, I’ve experienced that too but only directly after a stutter when I’m still cringing, you just want to die. Obviously a bit silly and not the answer! Feel free to message me whenever about anything. Good luck mate