i dont know what kind of stutter you have, but for me - and for you, as you've mentioned - the more 'against the grain' i'm pushing, the more gridlock i face. it's hard to have a concrete discussion on this because the relationship we all have with our stutters are so personal and unique - though many of us share commonalities. all in saying, my aim is to feel as comfortable as possible rather than focus on the task of speaking. i've seen it both ways. some people stutter less when focussing on words; some more. sounds like from your presentation example that you may stutter more. so, perhaps set your sights on your emotions within the environments you speak. i have to give presentations all the time. to this day, the only thing that's worked for me is overpreparing to the point where i've mastered the material and what i plan to say. if you'd like to discuss further about 'aiming for calm emotions' feel free to pm me. lastly, i know what you mean when you say that owning it doesn't really help. i agree. it's hard to take pride in something like a debilitating stutter. it's not pretty. sometimes we make weird faces to get the sound out or get past the block. what i do feel has 'saved' me along the way is just learning how to move on after it happens. i kind of have a relationship with it similar to making a careless error on a test. so, i suppose that means getting to the point where you know your disfluency doesn't define who you are at all - similar to how you might say "damn, i missed that question, but i knew that one. i'll do better next time".