Hey, is there someone you can talk to in your life (maybe a parent, teacher, doctor, friend)? It sounds like you need support from what you’ve shared. From what you’ve shared it sounds like a lot of your self worth is tied up in your voice. I have similar false thoughts and am working through confronting and changing them. One of the things someone recommended to me was changing my language from “always” to “sometimes” (example: I always am messy and weird vs I sometimes am messy and weird) and just that little change has made a difference in how I feel. If you are considering killing yourself, here is the link for the suicide prevention hotline chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Please don’t kill yourself. You matter.