commentr/StutterDecember 14, 2020

Content

I'm one of the people that voted "would stay the same" And I have to say its not because I've had it easier, its because of how I view my stutter now. Your perspective of your stutter is 100% up to you. And that will make or break how you feel about it and how much it holds you back. I realized that I can blame my stutter for holding me back in life (which will mean my life is out of my hands) or I can focus on whats really in my control. -my actions are still in my control -my state is still in my control -my perception is still in my control And what i realized is when I started controlling my actions, not allowing my stutter to, I started to stutter less. This is because I was stripping the power away from my stutter (your stutter gains power/control over you the more you fear it, and the severity of fear attached to your stutter is dictated upon how much it controls your life) I stopped letting it control my actions. It was scary and terrifying at times but this was the first step. Then I had to realize why exactly I was attaching so much self worth to my stutter. Why are my emotions and how I feel about myself correlated with how much I stuttered that day? That was my perspective of my stutter. I viewed my stutter as something that shouldn't happen. Something that makes me look stupid. Something that won't let me fit in. And all that shit was making me stutter more because I wanted to resist "looking stupid" or "looking inadequate". Whatever you resists persists. Continued on, I realized that these worries of mine really all linked to more rooted human tendencies. The fear of disapproval, the fear of rejection. I then focused on working on those. Not my stutter, but working on getting over those irrational fears. Then my life really started to change and so did my perspective of my stutter. I no longer felt embarrassed when I stuttered. No longer felt shame. No longer felt anxiety and stress compiling up with each block. I saw people as human being not big scary judgement monsters. We are all equal. I dont know if what I said made sense, I was typing like a madman. But the synopsis is: Your stutter will control you life to the extent you allow it to. You may not be able to control your fluency but you can always control your actions. Taking the right actions time and time again, not giving into what your fears of stuttering wants you to do, will allow you to lose the fear of stuttering and see your stutter as just a stutter. Not a thing that controls your entire life and makes you miserable. It's a process but anyone could do it. All in all, this means you have to face your fears more often. I might have not gone through more pain than you, but I have been vulnerable enough to face my fears more consistently. Thats really what it comes down to.

Themes

Coping & AdvocacyIdentity & DisabilityEmotional Experience

Subthemes

Mindset shiftAcceptance & PrideAuthenticity vs. MaskingAnxiety & Social JudgmentFrustration & Anger